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From: Alice Miller (-----------)
Dear Jordan, Thank you so much for your clear, true, brave and convincing booklet. It should be offered free to every parent immediately after the birth of EACH of their children. The problem is that mothers spank their toddlers as soon as they start to walk and touch "dangerous" things, to teach them what they shouldn't touch "for their own good". In a survey I ordered 4 years ago in France 100 women were asked when they felt compelled to spank their child for the first time. 89 of them answered: when the child was 18 months. 11 mothers said that they didn't remember exactly the age of the child but NO ONE said that she never spanked her child. Today it happened to me that together with your mail I read an interview with Bruce. D. Perry whose research on the child's brain I very much appreciate. Now, I was very surprised by his statement that fortunately only 20% of people who were maltreated become violent in their later lives. I think that by saying this he may have forgotten the violence directed towards children. I would say that almost everybody who was maltreated in early childhood tends to minimize or even glorify this kind of treatment. Their empathy for the pain of children has been killed. For that reason most people don't realize that spanking a child IS INDEED AN ACT OF VIOLENCE, THE MOST AWFUL AND THE MOST DENIED WE CAN IMAGINE. Denied even by people who should know better. If you want you can publish this letter on your site and you can send it to Dr. Perry (without my e-mail address). With best wishes for the New Year, Alice
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