Sexually abusive spankings remembered

November 3, 2001

My name is Ben. I am 30 years old. I want to thank you for bringing about public awareness of the sexual dangers of spanking children. I have known for years that spanking can be a form of sexual abuse, as I was a childhood victim. I believe that this form of abuse is little known by the general public, yet it is probably very prevelant in the lives of many children.

I was an only child raised by my mother. As early as I can remember, spanking was the main form of punishment my mom used on me. I would guess that between the ages of 4 and 13 my mom spanked me at least once every couple of weeks. Nearly every spanking was identical in it's ritual. Spankings would always be given after my bath just before bed, and if I was to be punished my mom would tell me to go to her room after I put my pajamas on. When I would get to her room I would always find her in some form of undress. Usually she would have a nightgown on, but sometimes she would be dressed in only her underclothes. I would have to stand in front of her while she sat on the bed and scolded me for whatever I had done that day to warrant punishment. She then would pull down my pants and I would have to lay across her lap. She would spank my bare butt with her hand about 25-30 times.

The spankings were painful and when I was very young the pain was the only concern I had. Around the age of nine, however, I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable with the whole spanking ritual my mom put me through. Having my pants pulled down was becoming more and more embarrassing, but that wasn't the worst part. What I was dreading most was being held over my mom's, often bare, thighs. I was becoming keenly aware of my genitals against my mom's leg. I can't think of a more embarrassing or humiliating situation for a twelve year old boy than to be spanked with his pants down against his mother's unclothed lap, trying to resist getting an erection and failing.

I'm sure that my mother was aware of the sexual nature of these punishments. Why she did what she did, I don't know. I have never talked to her about my feelings on this subject. I know that I should, but I don't know if I want to confront her about this. Anyway, I'm just glad that this subject matter is being brought out into the open. Hopefully, you will make a difference in some child's life!

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