John Bradshaw on Spanking
From "The Bradshaw Connection," broadcast on November 22, 1996, WOR-TV.
"...People who justify physical punishment were almost always spanked and physically punished themselves. As children, we numb-out our bodies while we are being spanked. So, if we express anger about it, we get punished for that. As grown-ups, we now idealize our parents and justify their actions. This is not about bad people. It's called "delusion."

Strangely enough, the more a child is beaten, the more they create an idealized parent. Doing what your parents did protects the idealization. When grown-ups, who were spanked, spank their own children, they are activating their unconscious need to pass the humiliation on. There is nothing loving about the act of hitting someone who is five times smaller than you, even if you do it with the best of intentions.

Our parents and grandparents were not bad for spanking us. They were uninformed. They drove Model Ts. We don't do that any more. Those who quote the Bible to justify their honest beliefs forget that the Bible makes its harshest judgement on those who hurt little children.

These are my thoughts for today. We'll see you on the next Bradshaw Difference."

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